One of the expectations I had about going more towards the vegan diet was that my fiber intake was going to be superlative. It is. I find that I am easily consuming the recommended 25-30 grams of fiber daily. So why has pooping become such a challenge?
There – I’ve said it. Perhaps my reservations about this topic going online is what prevented me from blogging over the past week (But more likely I was swamped with a trip to Connecticut and preparing for the start of the school year). Perhaps the delightful Friday-Night-Oktoberfest in my hand has contributed to my bravery in announcing the status of my G.I. tract.
But don’t be fooled. Just because I haven’t been blogging about my G.I. issues doesn’t mean that I haven’t stopped talking about these issues to anyone who will give me about five seconds of their time. I mean, the whole nature of my at-work-relationships has changed as a result of this diet and it’s effects on my gut. Interestingly enough, I have found that by bringing the topic up, my co-workers are more than happy to share their own stories with me (I did not think this would be as popular as a topic as it turned out to be, but I suppose it is something everyone can relate to – as the famous children's book has taught many of us, Everyone Poops). I now have two colleagues that are regularly informing me of their bowel status.
In addition to creating a more intimate relationship with my co-workers, following this diet and dealing with my reticent bowels has given me some new insight. I know people that deal with food intolerances (e.g., lactose intolerance) and chronic G.I. disorders have quite a bit of anxiety surrounding their G.I. health – In all seriousness, I’m sure my situation doesn’t compare, but it has increased my sensitivity to the issues others face.
I was Googling the terms “veganism” and “constipation” last week when I received a very timely email from my imaginary FB friend, Jessica. She gave me a number of tips about how to successfully go vegan and one of the comments she made was “Drink tons of water. Flush all the bad stuff out.” Wait a minute…Flush the bad stuff?
For years I’ve been hearing everyone talking about drinking, like, 20 gallons of water a day to “flush out the toxins” and I always rolled my eyes at this new-age-sounding…stuff. I mean, of course, given my background I understand the importance of adequate fluid consumption but it always seemed to me like the recommendations some folks followed were a little excessive (e.g., in the gym locker rooms – back when I actually went to the gym – you’d always hear girls bragging about drinking 3 liters of water before dinner time). But once I received Jessica’s email an idea occurred to me – it’s not that people are getting all new-agey – they’re just getting politically correct about how to talk about constipation prevention! Does this remind anyone of a George Carlin bit from years ago? (i.e., constipation versus occasional regularity - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miLZZiwOWlU )
Well thanks for the tip, Jess. I’ve definitely been working on my water consumption as well as following some other guidelines I located (http://www.savvyvegetarian.com/vegetarian-advice/constipation-vegetarian-diet.php) with mixed results. Of course I had a conversation with my mother about this and she laughed at me: “You’re making bricks” she told me. I informed her that, according to one of my ex-boyfriends, I believe the term is “stackers.”
Today I received a coupon from the folks at Living Social (are they reading my blogs too?): $69.00 for 60 minutes of colon hydrotherapy..."Colon hydrotherapy hygienically and comfortably removes excess waste from your colon, cleaning out harmful toxins to help improve overall health and alleviate problems like abdominal discomfort, pain, bloating..." I'd probably feel so much better if I just spent the 69 bucks but I can't bring myself to buy into this garbage. It's just a matter of time (fortunately or unfortunately depending on your point of view) before I adjust and I become less entertaining to co-workers and my mom.
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